


And thus, Mania ruled the underworld

by The_Spleen



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28149774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Spleen/pseuds/The_Spleen
Summary: "You're scared.And you start thinking that the way you live is scarier than anything that could happen if one way or another you managed to keep your eye closed forever."Hope's parents died one year ago.
Relationships: Hope Mikaelson & Lizzie Saltzman, Hope Mikaelson/Josie Saltzman, Josie Saltzman & Lizzie Saltzman, Landon Kirby & Hope Mikaelson, Landon Kirby & Rafael Waithe, Past Alyssa Chang/Hope Mikaelson
Comments: 11
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!
> 
> So I was doing my homework and this kinda popped in my head out of nowhere.
> 
> But yeah.. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy !
> 
> Also like read the tag but tw// because some people might not be okay with everything related to suicide

Have you ever felt like you've been haunted by a feeling?

Out of all of the monsters in the world there's no monster that can put you in a worse mindset than a feeling.

Physical pain looks like a joke compared to the torture you can inflict to yourself.

The worst is that you know exactly what's happening, you're aware that you are the one punishing yourself, yet you watch, you endure it, and the more it hurts the more you feel like you deserve it, like that's how it's supposed to be.

And so, you do nothing to get rid of the feeling and in the worst case you lose your sensations, your feelings, you lose yourself.

Actually, the only thing that you feel is the surprise you have when you realize that every morning you start wishing to never wake up, that during the day everything is slow around you, and something that would usually make you crack a smile ends up boring you. 

And when at night, alone in your bed, the image of the perfect world that you created in your head and would imagine when going to sleep, gets replaced by the representation of your darkest thoughts you shift in your bed and tears form in your eyes.

It's like you're in a horror movie but you're the victim and the monster.

You're scared.

And you start thinking that the way you live is scarier than anything that could happen if one way or another you managed to keep your eye closed forever.

Hope's parents died one year ago, almost two.

Life has been hell.

Anyone that looks at her from afar would say that her life doesn't look like hell.  
After all hell surely doesn't look like going to dinner at fancy restaurants with the rest of her family.  
Her life doesn't look like nightmare when she gets ready to go to the private school she studies at, the same school her fake friends go to.

It doesn't look like hell either when she wears pretty dresses, has a wardrobe bigger than a student's apartment, a house with a pool, and really expensive cars.  
Yeah, really Hope might have lost her parents but who is she to complain when she lives the perfect filthy-rich white girl dream.

She's a hypocrite.

Fucking egoistic. 

She deserves what's happening to her.

She should stop acting like that. Life goes on. 

It's been two year she should stop that bullshit.

Acting like she is the only one who's life has been atrocious with.

That's something Hope hears every day and she knows it’s true. She doesn’t hear it from her friends though.

Hope utterly annoys them, but they rather talk about it when she's not here, after all everyone knows that you should keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Even closer when your enemy is from the richest family in town.

No. Hope hears it every day when she caught her aunts whisper-yell to each other:

\- It's been almost two years Freya!  
\- I know but give her time...  
\- Look you care about her I do to...God we all do. But she can't keep acting like that!

She also hears it when her aunt Freya and her wife Keelin decide to adopt a little boy.

When her uncle Kol decides to move to England with his wife Davina.

When her girlfriend Alyssa breaks up with her.

And during the volleyball games, when her team beats up the Mystic Falls high school's team for an umpteenth time, and those people she doesn't even know complain about her even though she stayed on the bench for all the game.

To be honest it doesn't even hurt her, she knows she deserves it and so, she doesn't try. Doesn't try to fight for what she wants, doesn't fight for anyone or anything. She gives up on herself.

She's a ghost. 

Well technically she talks to everyone, to her friends to her family, but the heart, the feelings, they're not here.

She isn't even here to live her life. As if it's a movie Hope watches.  
She watches everyone leaving her life getting away from her, falling out of love with her, hating her.

She doesn't complain. She knows that she is the problem.

The blue-eyed girl thinks.  
She thinks about Alyssa.

Alyssa Chang is selfish. She's mean to everyone and she's probably heartless. Actually, the only one she cares about is herself.

So, when she started dating Hope Mikaelson 3 years ago it quickly became the most surprising thing in the school. And their couple was quite popular.

Hope liked Alyssa, she still likes her. 

It started as a crush... A weird crush knowing that these two kept poking each other every day.  
But somehow it became different, maybe it was the way Alyssa would try to hide her smile every time Hope made a snarky remark when a teacher tried to correct her. And Hope, proud, would herself try to hide a grin.  
It definitely changed when they started listening to music in the blue-eyed girl's room, and her hand would not so accidentally touch Alyssa's until they were intertwined.

Their first kiss was... Messy.  
As messy as it can be when a girl covered in mud kiss another girl on the lips.

Something about a fight, then running after the other under the pouring rain, and then someone falling, laughs, a lot of them.  
When Hope sat, she was covered in dirt and mud. The laughs didn't stop though.  
It got followed by apologizes, who knows who apologized first. Actually no one cares.

And then kisses, again, again, and again and maybe they should've stopped, but who gives a fuck if it's raining and they will probably catch a cold after that, and who cares if it's 10pm on a Monday anyway.

And then Hope parents died.

Hope knows Alyssa tried, she tried. God knows how hard she tried for someone who is supposedly a stuck-up bitch.

But when someone is already so far gone maybe it's better to save yourself than drowning with them.

Today alone in her room, Hope is holding a pen, watching the white paper as the moon shines and on the sharp edge of a razor blade.

And she thinks, thinks that the end is better that whatever she has right now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I wrote this chapter a few days ago and I didn't know how I felt about it.
> 
> Writing something for yourself is easy because you know what's in your mind but it can be harder when you have to make it understandable for other people.
> 
> Hope it's good.

When you stand at the edge of a ravine and no one can stop you from jumping, two things come to your head.

The first one is a thought, that leads you to believe that If you jump, it will be the end. No more pain, no more torture, no more feelings. Nothing.  
And it feels like the best option.

After all, the reason you came in the first place is to put an end to your misery. To get rid of that thing in your head, a something so monstrous that it destroys all your positive thoughts.  
Actually, it destroys all your thoughts, and only keeps the ones hurting you.

Along with your thoughts, it destroys memories, feelings, everything defining your personality. It just wants you to suffer, so it only leaves pain.

You wish you could go back to before everything started. But you can’t.  
And to be honest it came so slowly that you barely remember when it started.  
You only remember what it changed. And you end up uniquely remembering what it changed because none of these changes makes you happy, it’s quite the opposite actually.

At the beginning, it felt more like a whisper in the back of your head. You could avoid it with music, when you talked to people, when you were distracted.  
But then, when you were left alone, and had nothing else to do but to think , it got overwhelming, a parasite you couldn’t ignore, a larva slowly eating your brain and consuming you.

And now, standing at the edge of the ravine, the feeling is so excruciating, that you allow yourself to think that a step forward will erase the weight on your shoulders, will free you from this torture you created.

Death seems like the solution.

You could jump.

Maybe you should.

The second thing that comes to your mind, is a feeling, that if you’d go back to your miserable life you could build a new one, a better one. And that everything would get better.

Dreamers will call it hope, others will call it wishful thinking.

The fact remains that you don’t jump.

But reality comes back as fast as a lightening and hits you right in the face, when the feeling that has been haunting you comes back, and the larva turned into a beast. And with everything back, the nightmare starts again.

You think that maybe it’s not too late to go back to that damn ravine and jump. But it is. Somehow you can’t seem to find the strength to go back anymore.  
Now, you’re back to the beginning. Tortured. Or maybe this time it’s even worse.

But as always you do nothing against it. And you think of yourself as a fool for believing that you could escape a prison you created yourself, subconsciously knowing that you wouldn’t be able to escape.

Maybe you are a fool.

Next, comes the moment when you grab the closest knife, razor, or any other sharp object you can find.  
You get slowly convinced that hurting yourself voluntarily feels like a relief.  
It’s really not.  
The truth is that you would rather hurt yourself and have a total control over it, than keep hurting yourself without feeling like you have any control over it.

You didn’t jump.  
You just decided to hurt yourself even more.

Hope took the same decision.

When she wakes up, she’s hit with a searing pain on her wrist.  
Just as her eyes finally get adjusted to the light, she looks towards the window.  
The sun is up.  
Shit.  
She overslept.

Which shouldn’t be that bad considering that she didn't plan to do anything today.

You can’t really plan something when each day you hope that it will be the last one.

Without even looking at it, she grabs the phone on the nightstand and gets up.  
She then, glances at her room. 

Her desk looks like a crime scene.

All her furniture spread out, the white paper from yesterday is all scribbled on, blood stains are everywhere and reminds her of what she has done last night.

Fuck.

She definitely should have done that in the bathroom.

So, before going downstairs to eat breakfast, she decides to clean the mess she's made. Puts back all her furniture where they're supposed to be, put the paper in the trash, and goes to the bathroom to find something to clean the rest.

When going to the bathroom, there's one rule Hope follows. Never look at your reflection in the mirror.

And today is not the day when she'll be breaking it.  
She takes a sponge that was hiding in the cupboard, puts water on it and head back to her room to clean the desk.

As soon as it is clean, she glances at her phone. No notifications. Wow. Her friends really care about her.

The seconds she's downstairs, the auburn-haired girl knows something is off. The soft whispers she has heard while going down the stairs stopped. From the living room are watching her, her aunts Freya and Rebekah.  
The little Pedro is lying on the floor, a pencil in his hand, adding blue to his coloring book. The young boy is so focused on his task that he doesn't realize the tension that has entered the room after Hope came in. Judging from the face both her aunts are giving her and the absence of Keelin, Hope thinks that she's in for a long conversation, one that she will definitely not going to be pleased with. "Why are you looking at me like that" she says frowning.

"We need to talk" announces Rebekah calmly.

The short girl sighs and tries to exit the room.

"You're not getting away from us this time" says Freya grabbing her niece's shoulder.

Hope stares at her. The older Mikaelson is not even looking at her.

She harshly pushes her aunt's hand and decides to sit on the couch, looks at Pedro drawing and for a fraction of second thinks about the kid.

He's seen Hope ignore and avoid her aunts since he first came to this house. He never seemed to care thought. Or maybe didn’t he realize what was happening.  
Hope has ignored him more than once and yet, he smiles at her every time their eyes meet. And it seems that today will not be an exception as he waves at her with a smile on his lips.

For a second, Hope is tempted to wave back.  
But she quicky comes back to reality as her aunt asks her son to go to his room.  
The little boy obliges and trips over himself as he gets up. He then blushes as he hears his cousin's laugh and runs to his room. "Listen Hope. We’ve talked about it for hours yesterday with the other members of the family and... We know that what happened to Hayley and Klaus hurts you, but we can't leave you like this" says Rebekah as she sits next to her niece. The young girl is looking somewhere, everywhere, anything is fine as long as it isn’t near her aunts. The three paintings on the wall that her father made, the windows leading to the garden, the little on three outside, her shoes, Pedro’s coloring book, her pajamas.

Actually, she’s trying so hard to avoid her aunts’ gaze that she barely hears Rebekah’s next sentence.

“We care about you and-”

“You care about me " Hope mutters bitterly.

“Did uncle Kol care when he left the country two months after their death?! Did you care when you adopted a boy without even asking me how I felt about that?” Adds the blue-eyed girls yelling.

“Did you care when you let a sixteen-year-old girl who just lost both her parents deal with herself alone?” She says quietly tears forming in her eyes.

“Hope.” Whispers Freya.

“You didn't.”

“Of course we did. We do. We may be adults, but we make mistakes too. And you look so much like your parents, what we did was idiot we know.”

“What do you want from me?” asks the young girl frowning.

“Hope I don’t know if you realize that but you’re not okay.”

“And you need help"

“I don't.”

“You do Hope” says quietly Freya with compassion.

“I don’t.”

“You don't?! Do you really think were blind?” she says Rebekah angrily while she grabs niece’s wrist.

“Look at what you do to yourself Hope” adds her aunt as Hope winces.

“Don't you understand that we love you and that we’re worried.”

“Look if you're not better by the end of the week you'll see as many therapists and take as many pills as needed if it allows us to keep you alive.”

“You should thank your aunt Freya she's the one who decided to give you time.”

“And remember... That you’re not the only one hurting Hope.” Says Rebekah as she leaves the room.

After that upsetting conversation that the girl would have loved to avoid, the Mikaelson heiress decides to grab something to eat and goes back to her room.

It's 10 pm when the young Mikaelson decides to sneak out.

She’s stayed in her room painting all day, barely ate anything and she really feels like she'll suffocate if she stays in this house.

As she walks outside only wearing a shirt and the first pair of pants she’s found in her drawer, she thinks that cities are the most beautiful at night.

By 10:30, she finally arrives at the place she was looking for, a small forest cut in half by a river.  
As she’s about to sit near the water, noises come from behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have so much plans for the character that is going to be introduced in the next chapter lol. I kept thinking about what I wanted to happen for them that I almost forgot that I had to write this chapter before.
> 
> And it's always nice yo know if people enjoyed what I write so tell me what you think about it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am, with a new chapter.
> 
> Also check my new fanfic maybe ? 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you guys like this fic ^^.

Something is heading her way.

It’s dark, the moon is up its light is reflecting on the water next to the girl, the slow breeze of the wind makes the leaves on the trees move.

Most of the wild animals are asleep except for the nocturnal ones. Everything is silent, expect maybe for the small sounds of the leaves getting stepped on. 

It’s getting closer, it’s tall, and dark, and for a second she thinks that maybe death has come for her.  
She closes her eyes, accepting her fate, she can feel that thing getting closer.  
After a few seconds she opens her eyes, maybe by curiosity, maybe in an attempt to face death in the eyes.

It’s a boy.

There’s a boy in front of her. He has long curly hair brushing his face. This guy needs a new haircut. He seems surprised to see her, ironic knowing that he’s the one heading her way, and frightened her.  


Between his hair that and the darkness of the night, she can’t clearly see his eyes, but she knows they’re dark.

They both look at each other as if they were trying to decipher the other, probably trying to understand what is the other doing in the middle of the night alone, probably still too surprised to even talk.  
Somehow both of them know that they don’t risk anything, that the other won’t do anything bad to each other.

The curly haired boy glances at the river, and then at the girl, a strangled noise comes out of his throat, as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t, as if he hadn’t said anything in years, forgot how to talk and needed to learn how to.

But still Hope understands him, so she walks and sits near the water followed by the boy.

Now that she’s sitting next to him, she can see him more clearly, the boy has a simple black shirt and a jean. The girl notices a few darks mark near his neck and on his left arm, half hidden by his shirt. She frowns. 

The boy is still silent, he’s looking at the water as if he was waiting for something to happen, looking at him, she thinks that he doesn’t look like the kind of boy who gets in trouble and fight people. Actually, he seems like the kind of boy who flees this kind of things.

When he catches her eyes, the boy smiles awkwardly and slowly shrugs his shoulder. A silent message. 

_That’s life._

__

__

_I’m sorry you saw that._

“I’m Kirby, Landon Kirby.” Finally, he speaks. “It’s a reference… To James Bond if you don’t-”

“I know.” Cuts Hope. “I’m Hope.” Ads the girl.

“Nice to meet you, Hope No-last-name.” Says Landon smiling.

It’s dumb, not even funny, yet she lets a small laugh coming out of her mouth.

“So, what are you doing outside? It’s pretty dark here.” Asks the boy raising his head and looking around as he realizes that the girl has not the intention to give him her last name, or just not the intention to say anything.

“I just needed to breathe a little.”  
“Me too.” Mutters Landon. “Do you have any hobbies ?” Asks awkwardly the boy as he rubs the back of his neck, not wanting the conversation to finish in an awkward silence. 

“I paint, not that much nowadays. But I love it It’s calm, refreshing.” Answers Hope as she closes her eyes and remembers the sensations she gets when she paints. “What about you?”

“I had a guitar” says the curly haired boy grabbing a small little rock that was near him.

“Not anymore?”

“It broke.” says Landon blankly as he throws the rock into the water, making it form rings expanding over the surface. “I wasn’t really good anyway.”

“Have you ever wished you could fly?” Ads the boy before Hope can even say anything. 

“Like… A bird? You want to be a bird?”

“Well no. I want to fly.”

“I don't. I never even thought about that." says the girl calmly.

“ It's not like we had wings anyway...What are you going to do? Jump from a building wishing magical wings are going to appear on your back?” jokingly ads Hope.

“I might just try.” 

They keep talking for an hour after that. Landon quickly realizes that the girl is not a big fan of jokes and nonsensical conversations. But they do talk about more serious things.

Hope learns that the boy has a brother who lives with his adoptive parents, and finds out that Landon has a horrible foster family, family who is probably the reason the teenager has marks on his body.

She tells the the teenage boy about her parents. She hadn't talked about that with anyone in so long, it feels weird. She won't talk to her family about her parents because they knew them too, she doesn't talk about her parents to her friends because she does not want their fake pity. But sometimes talking about your problems to someone who can related and won't pity you feels good. 

They share their favorite movies and series. 

The girl realizes that the curly haired boy is an absolute nerd. They share their favorite songs, and except for a few, it becomes obvious that they really don’t have the same musical taste. What they do have in common is pain.

After a little bit of forcing Landon finally gets Hope’s last name.

When Hope arrives at home, the lights are still on which means that everyone is still awake. She feels good. She hadn’t talked genuinely to someone in such a long time. There's a feeling in her heart she can’t quite describe. It feels like relief, it feels like happiness, it feels like hope. Feelings she had forgotten a long time ago.

Hope sleeps well tonight.

She made a friend.

A true one.

When Landon arrives at home, none of the lights are on which means that no one is there. Seeing as no one is there, a feeling grows in his chest, it feels like relief and happiness.  
He sends a text to his brother, talk about the girl he met, his new friend, wishes him goodnight and goes to sleep.

Landon sleeps well tonight.

No one is there.

Nothing will happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because they barely mention that bird boy wasn't in a happy family.
> 
> This fanfic is not Handon. It's Just Hope and Landon being sad pals.
> 
> Also no more sad characters.
> 
> And Josie next chapter finally woop woop.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments :)


End file.
